i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
