how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
