my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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