just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
