Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
