belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
