My nipple is on Facebook.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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