I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
