we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
