It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
