I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
