she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
