Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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