To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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