got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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