I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
