we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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