You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
