No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
