Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
now i know why i became what i already was.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
