he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
