now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just invented taco cereal.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
