if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
third nipple confirmed
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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