Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
