Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
