just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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