Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
