i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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