I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
