You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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