Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
