he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
