Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
