my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
