but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
