I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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