absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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