True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
