I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
