I skipped work to stalk him.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
