nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
