My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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