I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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