do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
