we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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