i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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