If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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