Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it glows. i had to have it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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