We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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