i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
