i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
