DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
